Devauld.ca

At first I figured that the final chapter of the The Man Under The Stairs (TMUTS) had been written and the book closed. Turns out I was very wrong.

Ever since the hammer fell over a month ago, I've feared that the vindictive soul that resided in my basement would strike at me. I was right from the start, as three days after I gave him written notice to leave, I got a letter from the city saying that I was reported for having an illegal basement suite.

I don't really need Bayes' Theorem to show me there is a relationship between those two events.

Anyway, I did some research and figured there was a couple areas where I could use a little improvement, but didn't see anything that would pose a problem, given enough time and money. My fears were lifted further when I met with Elizabeth for my inspection. She was a nice lady who was very helpful. She told me I was pretty much in the clear, except that my lot was a little too narrow.

Turns out you need to be 15m wide to have a legal suite, and my lot is 14.94m wide. The width of my hand is going to bring me a great deal of pain. Anyway Elizabeth told me that it might not be a big deal, but she would check up on it and get back to me.

I know that my knuckle dragging, beady eyed ex-tenent with the sloped forhead is probably having a good chuckle at my expense right now. The letter came in that says that I am in fact illegal as an up-down duplex. The City of Calgary was kind enough to send me the checklist for what I'll need in order to get a Development Permit fo a relaxation of the required lot width. The beautiful document, in its eleven pages, include items such as:

• Colour Photographs of the site, with a minimum of two views
• Six (6) copies of Site Plans
• Six (6) copies of Floor Plans
• Six (6) copies of Elevation Drawings
• A current copy of the Certificate of Title (To me this is the only one that makes sense)
• A completed Site Contamination Statement
• A completed Public Tree Disclosure Statement
• The Administration Fee, of course

When I saw this list of stuff, I started to wonder if it was even worth it. I mean, I don't even know where to start getting an Elevation Drawing including windows, doors, loading bays, projections, fascia trim, decorative elements, lighting, exterior materials, roof materials, fascia, trim and colours of all major exterior building materials all dimensioned from grade and main floor.

The cherry on the top is the Fees. Innocently found as the eleventh page of the package is the two sided schedule of fees. By my rough calculations after I have paid for the application, get the appropriate paperwork pushed through and pay for my Certificate of Compliance I'm going to be out close to one grand. That's not including what it's going to cost me to round up all the nonsense I need just to complete the checklist for application. I'm sure pulling title will be reasonable, but six copies of the floor plans aren't going to be cheap.

Now I'm asking myself if it's even worth the bother. I could rip out all the cooking facilities, and it's no longer a suite. Pick up a couple room mates, and put in a home theatre and climbing wall in the basement. I won't have my own private space, save my bedroom, but I won't have to deal with this nonsense. Especially since I could jump through every hoop and they could still deny me my certificate.